Mister, she's just an old brood mare,
See, her mane only has two strands of hair.

She's bowleggged, sway backed and a mean old cuss.
I'd take my gun and shoot her, but it's too much fuss.

She can kick and stomp and lay you out flat.
Once I tried to club her, but she ate the bat.

She ain't got no teeth and is missing a lip,
But she can gum down on you like a big vice grip.

She ain't had no colt in ten years, to a day,
Ain't no right minded stud gitt'n near her, any way.

I ain't sett'n foot inside that there gate,
See, I ain't fix'n to being no horse bait.

Mister, if you're so set on buy'n that critter,
Bring your own rope and YOU GO GIT HER!!!